Last Wednesday, I went in for my first ultrasound. Describing the experience is impossible; there are no words comprehensive yet precise enough to encompass the wide range of emotions I felt, all of the thoughts I had, as well as to describe the beauty and delicacy of the image I saw on the monitor. I saw an image of my child for the first time, I saw his/her tiny little fluttering heart, and I heard its fast paced beating. Though our baby is tiny (only the size of a blueberry), his/her heart sounded so strong. It was such a beautiful, amazing, wonderful experience to witness something so miraculous, to observe something so very small, yet so very, very real. It was proof that our baby is growing, thriving, living and surviving. I teared up immediately.
J wasn’t able to make it to the ultrasound, but I was able to capture a short video on my phone so he could hear our baby’s heart.
It is a thing of beauty that one of the first developments in life is the creation of our heart. Before our brain develops, before our lungs, before our hands, before our eyes, before almost everything else, for a brief moment we are simply and miraculously a small grouping of cells embracing a tiny little fluttering heart.
At the end of my brief appointment, Dr. G said to me, “Congratulations! Your baby looks normal and healthy. Way to be the model patient, and achieve success on your first try.” I said to him, “We couldn’t have done it without you all” and I thanked him profusely, for helping us bring to life our extraordinary miracle.
There was a time, not too long ago, that I started to believe that it was a possibility that I would never be blessed with pregnancy, that I would never get the opportunity to feel the joys and discomforts of nurturing our child within my womb. But now that I am, I am grateful every single moment of the day. I’m grateful for every wave of nausea, for every heave of sickness, for waking up multiple times every night to relive my bladder, for my already expanding waistline, for the sensations in my lower abdomen associated with my expanding womb. I am grateful for it all, and because of our eighteen month wait for our wee one, I will never, not even once, complain about or take for granted any moment of my pregnancy.